Magellan

Memories of Scott

by Carol Tee - "Spooks"

A WorldsAway Friend

God saw you getting tired, Mags

And a cure was not to be

So he put his arms around you

And whispered, "come to me"

A golden heart stopped beating

God broke our hearts

To prove to us

He only takes the best

"My son Scott was a kind, generous, loving, brilliant young man who loved others and demonstrated his love in many ways. He taught everyone in our family to end our conversations with, "I love you", and expressing our love to one another has become as natural as breathing. He was the most courageous person I have ever known, and he is my hero."

Scott's Mom

"His little hand would reach out to my smaller hand as if to say, "come with me, you can do this", as well as, "I'll be right here". His little hand would hold my smaller one as he walked me to my classroom - he knew, because the classroom used to be his. My smaller hand would wave in response across the playground, telling me no matter what, that I had a friend nearby...His bigger hands patted me on the back as my smaller hands covered crying eyes as he silently but powerfully supported and loved me through every trial and tribulation...His big hands and my smaller ones went different directions and in busy lives, we saw each other less than we would have liked, yet every conversation and every e-mail ended with, "I love you", (with Scott, it always did), I could feel the strength of those hands, reassuring me that I could do anything, and he would be right there. ..Scott had a strength and a love that is matched by few. He had a passion for everything new-people, places, things-and he would listen and observe and understand. ..Scott taught me so many things throughout the years that he held my little and in his. He taught me to stand tall and strong in the face of difficulty, to embrace independence and freedom no matter how difficult that may be to obtain and maintain, he taught me to love everybody and embrace their differences, he taught me that if you can't laugh at yourself, that you have no right to laugh at another. He taught me to get back up and stand tall no matter how often or how hard you fall down, and more importantly, however, he taught me to never assume that someone just knows you love them. Always, always tell them, no matter the circumstance...So, dear Scott, your presence here on this earth will be missed. Your smile, your laughter, your, "I love you", but I will always carry with me the strength, comfort and support that you demonstrated every day and love that you gave so unconditionally"...his big hands were twenty-eight years old, and my smaller ones twenty-seven years old, when once again I felt his bigger hand grasp my smaller one as we raced across the street before the light changed. I will always feel the strength of your bigger hand in my smaller one. Scott, I love you."

Scott's Sister, Heather

"...Scott was my big brother. I looked to him for strength, and I based my opinions often on his older and wiser ones. I emulated him in my love of music and black leather. I admired his genius, his kindness and his courage. My brother faced it all with a winner's heart. I can only hope to have his strength as I now face one of the most difficult things I have encountered in my life. Scott taught me the meaning of individuality, of hard work, and of real life. He lived the way he wanted to - he followed his bliss. And this should be celebrated. Scott faced each sunrise and all of the day's difficulties with the attitude that he would come out alright on the other end as the sun went down...Let's all look at the sun tonight as it sinks in the sky and hope that Scott is watching it too, but from a different, higher place, one free from pain."

"Five years have passed since my brother died, five years since I wrote the above words. In that time, I have gotten married, moved to the Midwest, and begun a career as a professional singer-songwriter. And through it all, my brother Scott has become even more important to me. Time doesn't make things easier, you don't forget, but the nature of your grieving changes. Sometimes I am still overwhelmed by grief, but more often I remember my only brother with a smile. I am who I am today because of him. I said that five years ago, but didn't know in how many ways it would ring true as the years passed. Scott's smile is just as alive to me today as it was then, and as I age, I understand him more, and value the gifts he brought to our family even more. He was one of the most honest, forgiving, and forthright people ever to grace this world, or the next. For those people who didn't have a chance to know Scott in this life, I pray they get to meet him in the next, for I am certain he continues to change lives, heal people's wounds, and shine his beautiful soul brightly upon us all. I know he is around us even now. I miss you Scott! I miss you so much! And I love you! Love, Hil"

Scott's Sister, Hilary

"Something reminds me of Scott every day of my life...We would often talk for hours at a time about anything and everything, and we also amused ourselves by adopting silly little songs which we sang as gleefully the hundredth time as the first. We were known to burst out into song together in front of virtual strangers who usually looked at us as though we'd lost our minds...Music played a substantial role in Scott's life. There never was a time when he didn't have a cherished song. Before you knew it, he had his new favorite song on disc, the volume turned up to eleven, and was playing "air guitar" while throwing his hair around with such jubilation that you'd think the song was written specifically for his enjoyment...Scott always spoke of moving to Portland with a sparkle in his eye. His dreams of living there, completing school, and working in a field about which he was passionate all came true because he made them happen. He was never hesitant or afraid to make such major changes in his life; never afraid to say, "I love you"; never afraid to discuss his feelings or his epilepsy...He one told me of a nightmare he had in which he was battling his epilepsy. He was at the bottom of a stairway and knew his mission was to get to the top, which sounds easy enough, only there were skis on his feet. He would progress carefully up a few stairs, only to fall back down to the bottom. But, in true Scott style, he never gave up. In fact, he almost made it to the very top of those stairs before he awakened...These memories and more are what remind me of Scott every day of my life...I think of him and smile...we are all reminded of Scott by the memories we hold inside of how he touched our lives and our hearts. I truly feel that he has finally made it to the top of those stairs and kicked those skis off, because now he will never fall down again."

Lisa Picatti McClintock

"I was a friend of your son's...He was a sweet guy...I too will miss him. Scott and I got to know each other in WorldsAway. I was online once when he had a seizure while hosting bingo. He came back was sooo worried about holding up the game. I told him he was silly, as he was more import <g>...He told me about his ongoing fight, and I told him mine. We felt that WA was the perfect place to escape our health problems, but what I found in WA was more than an escape, I found and made many wonderful, understanding friends who saved me many times, when I felt like giving up. Scott was one of the ones who made me feel like there was a purpose in it all...Scott was many things. He was kind, funny, emotional, and caring, and yes, he had a wicked sense of humor at times <g>. I will miss him, and am glad to have known him the time I did. I do believe that we will meet up again one day. I will hold a place in my heart always for Scott, he was a friend many times when I needed it most...Mags, you are with the Angels now. Sleep in Peace, my friend.

A WorldsAway Friend

"The Dreamscape and Waking World have lost a dear friend and wonderful person, Magellan, better known to some of us as Scott...Godspeed, dear friend. You will be sorely missed."

A WorldsAway Friend

"I have had many good times with Scott in the Virtual World called, "Worlds Away". His straightforwardness and charming recklessness with words have made him famous in that little tiny world, and brought both me and my wife much laughter. He has brought happiness into our lives, just by being there and sharing his thoughts with us. I shall truly miss him, as a very good friend, as a compassionate listener, a joker sometimes, but most above all for what he was, yet still is: Scott Helm."

A WorldsAway Friend

"Scott is a treasured friend of mine and I am shocked by the news. I am sorry for your loss...Scott is dearly loved by many, including myself. I was able to meet Scott in person a few times, he was a dear friend and helped me through a very difficult time in my life"

A WorldsAway Friend

"I really appreciate the opportunity to tell you how wonderful Scott was to work with. I worked with him at Intel for 3 years on several different projects. When he led the ProShare VideoConferencing Quality Assurance effort was when I spent the most time with him. I was amazed at how quickly he grew into the job requirements. He started off as a tester and developed into a project lead in less than 8 weeks. Some days we would be working until 10 PM on a problem and he was always willing to stay and help even if it meant taking a cab home rather than the bus. He was quick to ask what he could do better and was eager to improve his skills...I miss Scott. He was really great to work with.

Intel Co-worker

"I was one of Magellan's friends on WorldsAway...he was loved by many and my congratulations to you for raising such a son.

A WorldsAway Friend

"Scott was a much loved person in Worlds Away. He was very well liked by many people from all over the world and he will be greatly missed. I hope you might find a little strength from knowing that he made a lot of people smile. He was always a very kind person to me in WorldsAway.

A WorldsAway Friend

"I know Scott only as Magellan in the virtual world of Kymer here on the internet, but he was a friend to all that met him. I can tell you that he was loved by many, many people, and he touched all our lives in some way."

A WorldsAway Friend

"Magellan to us, Scott to you, was part of my introduction to WorldsAway and the Dreascape. He was vibrant, intelligent, funny...and he'll be missed greatly.

A WorldsAway Friend

"I unfortunately was not lucky enough to know Scott longer. I had started in late March as tech support for the group that Scott works in. Scott was my savior in getting me used to the group and ramped up on technology. It did not take but a few days before we became pretty good friends. Our humor fit perfectly well together, both of us are sometimes too sarcastic for our own good. Soon, we would usually make the trips down to the cafeteria together, talking about a lot of different things. And more often than not, it was me talking and him listening. I didn't even know that he was doing it, but he was such a good listener, that sometimes I would just feed off of him.

He did talk sometimes as well, often telling me about growing up in eastern Washington. What it was like to grow up in a small community. He talked about growing up with epilepsy as well, and how excited he was that soon he will be able to get his drivers license back. We also shared similar hobbies, mostly our love of fantasy computer games...It is strange that for a friendship that had just begun, it was such an important one for me. He was an important friend to me and to many people that knew him. He was honest, he had integrity, he was intelligent, and he lived his life with honor. I miss him. Thank you for bringing his life to the world.

Intel Co-worker

I wish to add my condolences to those of the World's Away community. While I didn't know Scott as well as some of the others, I did come to see him as a respected member of this "community", such as it is. I know it is hard for those who don't understand the virtual realm, but be assured he was well liked in this world."

A WorldsAway Friend

Many times Mag helped me out when I was down, and made me feel like life was worth living. He helped me through the hard times which I have had many of...he was just the best guy and I will miss him with all my heart. I just wish he was here so I could thank him for what he has said to me and what he has done to my life and the lives of so many other people. He always brought a smile to my face and a cheer in my heart, that without I would have never become the person I am today. I hope this letter brings some comfort that your son's life was not wasted and was worthwhile right to the end.

A WorldsAway Friend

I was one of the people who frequently goes to that Internet world Scott loved called, "Dreamscape". I wish you could see the outpouring of love for him that has been demonstrated there, and I think that someone is going to send you the address for a Web page that will show you the tributes that have been left for him. You probably knew that he named himself Magellan in this virtual world, and he had many, many close friends, including my son. I have started frequenting this place, also, now that my son lives hundreds of miles from me...that's the way I met Scott. Scott was always so polite, and so sweet to me. He always greeted me, and chatted with me if he wasn't busy hosting one of his Bingo games. He loved to do that, and also to play the game. In Dreamscape, there are many items in vending machines that can be purchased with the play money they hand out. Last night and the night before, there were dozens of flowers, candles, and other memorial mementos of many kinds left on the sidewalk in from of the Bingo game location. But that was nothing compared to an apartment his friends have rented and decorated in Scott's memory...there are hundreds of things left there by people who cared about him and wanted to pay tribute. There is an online memorial service being planned.

A WorldsAway Friend

Mag will be missed by many. I spoke with him last week via ICQ, he seemed happy, and he was excited about the new game he was playing (offline, I think)! I'll remember him for his quick wit and sarcasm, he never dwelled on his illness, but rather, asked that we bear with him for a few minutes. I wonder if anyone warned the angels, they sure will have their hands full!!

A WorldsAway Friend

Scott will be sorely missed by many who use CompuServe, and I have many fond memories of exchanging ideas and information with him. In particular, I recall an occasion when he and I combined efforts to persuade a couple of Modem Games Forum members who were quarreling to stop exchanging hostile messages. During my first few months of frequenting the forum, I enjoyed becoming acquainted with Scott as a sysop, and as a VGA Planets game host. He was one of the relatively few volunteer "tutors" who were patient and king enough to help me learn how to gain the most benefit from CIS forums and services with the least time and effort. Frankly, if it were not for Scott, and a couple of others like him, I probably would not be using CIS now, let alone managing files in a Modem Games Forum Library.

A Compuserve Modem Games Sysop Friend

There are many memories of my times with Scott that bring a smile to my face...One very fond memory is of the time that he came to visit me in Maryland. We were sitting outside one night talking. There were fireflies dancing all over the place, lighting up the dark. Scott was positively entrance with them. His childlike delight at seeing the dancing lights was charming, and is a memory that I treasure. Scott made a difference in my life and I hope that I did in his...I agree with you that Scott was courageous. He faced the epilepsy and dealt with it. We talked about it often and I had asked him if he weren't afraid that he would have a seizure on the bus, at work, etc. His response was that he had to live his life, that he couldn't let it cripple him. And of course, he was right.

A Compuserve Friend

We will all miss Scott very much. You must be so very proud of what a wonderful son/brother you have. The night I found out that Scott had passed, I wrote the following. I hope it gives you comfort in this difficult time.

The Ship

by Alexa (in memory of Scott)

The ship sets sail, its' masts standing tall;

As it slowly drifts toward the horizon,

Loved ones gather on the shore weeping tears of sadness.

As the ship slowly drifts past the horizon and into the sunset,

The loved ones cry, "He is gone! He is gone!"

As they see the ship arrive over the horizon in the distance,

The loved ones cry joyously, "He is home! He is home!"

...And that is dying.

Heaven has gained a special angel. Thank you for all the tears and laughter, Scott. You have left your footprints in my heart.

Alexa, A WorldsAway Friend

I worked with Scott in a software testing lab at Intel for some time a few years back. He was a smart, talented and funny guy.

A fellow Intel Co-worker

I worked with Scott for over a year at Intel in the QA lab. He helped me get started and because of him, I was retained after the initial 8 weeks that I was hired for. It was an honor for me to have known him. We were not close, but we did work on a video conferencing program together, and had to look at each other all day, so we were constantly making jokes and just telling stories while we tested the program. ..I can't count the number of times he helped me out when my computers were acting up. He was probably one of the smartest people I knew in the lab. He always knew what was wrong and how to fix it. I have even called him for advice since I left Intel and had problems with my home computer. I will surely miss him.

A fellow Intel co-worker

All I wanna say is that Mags helped me as a newbie, was kind and courteous. I used to pull his leg a bit.

A WorldsAway friend

As someone who had many avatar names, both known and unknown, if I was in the same locale as Magellan, he would chat. Not a lot of avatars would do that, but he always had a friendly word and an <f6> for everyone, both old friends and people he never met before (unless he knew it was me all along!, f3>. I also feel bad for all the newbies that aren't here yet...they never got a chance to meet him. And every single one of them would have had a chance to - he wouldn't have let them get by without a hello.

A WorldsAway Friend

I remember helping teach Scott to host bingo, he didn't need much help, I knew from the start he'd be a fine host. I will miss my friend, but he is alive in my heart.

A WorldsAway Friend

There are no words to express the loss of a friend, especially one so young, with so much to offer the world. I miss Mag's humor, good chats with him, and his great bingo hosting. A void is left when a friend is lost...Heaven has gained a good one for sure.

A WorldsAway Friend

Your passing on is a loss to many here, but certainly is a blessing to the Angels. May you earn your wings quickly...

A WorldsAway Friend

I spent a year of my life loving Scott, and had the privilege of sharing time with him in the real world as well as WorldsAway. I will always carry those happy memories in my heart. He touched many lives, and those lives now feel a loss, but he has found sweet peace, at last. Love to you, Scott.

A WorldsAway Friend

Scott, my favorite memories of you are learning to play backgammon. Such a poor winner you were! :-) I close my eyes and I can hear that evil laughter, yelling at the top of your lungs...I'm grateful you touched my life. Saddened beyond words at this world's loss, but at peace knowing you are at rest, safe and in God's hands. Rest in peace, gently soul.

A WorldsAway Friend

Scott and I had a lot of fun together playing bingo or just joking around. He was fun to be with. I will miss him.

A WorldsAway Friend

Magellan is how I know his spirit. He seemed to know exactly his direction. To quote Don Juan, "For me there is only the travelling on paths that have heart, on any path that may have heart. There I travel, and the only worthwhile challenge is to traverse its full length. And there I travel looking, looking, breathlessly." Magellan's path exited this dimension...see you soon.

A WorldsAway Friend

Scott and I became friends during a rough time in both our lives. Our contact had stopped during the past six months, but I always had a place and memory in my heart for him. He knows that dominos will go out of business now in Oregon. They were probably waiting on your order, dude, and everytime I hear that Jewel song, I will think of you. What a goofball he (Scott) was. I will never forget when Midnyte Angel and I played "psychic" with Mags. LOL, he flipped!!! Anyhow, Scott, hon, you are home now. "When the would leaves the body, there is peace, there is light, there is HOME". See you soon, friend, and thank you for the solace you brought me.

A WorldsAway Friend

Underneath the stars above

We make our wishes on shooting stars

We hope our wishes will come to be

All we need to do is look around for us to see

All we need to do is open our eyes

And our hearts to see

That our wishes have come to be

As the sun sets inself in the sky

While we hold you in our arms

Just as the sun promises of its returning

We too know of a promise

We shall love you on the morrow

Just as bright and strong

As we love you on this eve

As we all sit together

And say, not farewell,

But till we meet again.

I will miss him. He was a good and dear friend to all that knew him. Thank you for the wonderful and warm memories and your kindness and love you have given me. I love and will miss you, Scott! I hand you this single white rose, for you alone know what's in my heart.

A WorldsAway Friend

Mags (F3)(F6), we will never forget you.

A WorldsAway Friend

You were always nice to everyone, old friends, newbies, everyone had a chance to talk to you. The streets of Kymer will be so empty without you, but all of us a lot richer for having had you as a friend.

A WorldsAway Friend

You will be missed, my friend, and your memories will be remembered always.

A WorldsAway Friend

The dream lies within the soul

And angels make the light

To make your life again come whole

God asked you not to fight

But to be the one beyond the dreams and embrace the children lost

You gave your soul to those who cried no matter what the cost

With laughter in your heart and tears we softly cry

Always remember you're the dream as we embrace your sad goodbye

Whisper down to us at times to help us understand why God chose you to be the one

To guide us with your hand

And show us that through all the pain

There's still laughter in your song

Give us hope to realize

That life at times is wrong

And one day we shall all embrace the love that remains whole

Forever be in our hearts

Forever be in our souls...

A WorldsAway Friend

You don't know me, but I was a friend of Scott's. I knew Scott through the online world, but I did visit him a couple of times in Portland. He and I worked together in the WOW!Help Forum, as well as the Practice Forum on CompuServe. I remember fondly the many conversations Scott and I had about computers. He was very knowledgeable and generous in sharing his technical expertise.

A CompuServe co-worker

...through the Dreamscape and beyond, live the ultimate dream in peace, Mags.

A WorldsAway Friend

"Hello, dear friend~

You are in my heart and on my mind, and as Thanksgiving approaches, I give thanks for all we ever shared. I still feel the joy.....the uproarious, ridiculous, blissful laughter! I love you; you are so very loved and missed. "

Lisa (Obie)

"Mags, to this day I still expect you to pop down."

Borg, WorldsAway Dreamscape Friend, January 31,2005.

"This is Borg,,,

Am not sure if you remember me, but Mags and I spoke alot in the mid 90's..

He was gifted, very tallented , and would crack us up for hours on end, I did some comic

humor with him alot, but learned real quick, I could not hold a candle to him, nor has anyone else since been able too, He is a Prodigy. I think he is a huge Reason people stay in DS.

I wish I had known him real world..."

Borg, WorldsAway Dreamscape Friend, March 30, 2005

"I knew and loved Scott very much, both in Dreamscape and in real life. I've been away from Dreamscape for a couple of years, but when I returned, the first thing I did was find the memorial locale...my way of "visiting" Scott. When I loaded the memorial webpage, I smiled when I saw the avatar picture at the top...it was a screenshot of mine and Scott's inworld wedding.

He was a sweet soul...witty, wise, caring, mischieveous. I'm so very lucky I got the chance to spend time in "real world" with him before he went on to a better place. I'm all the better for having known him. I will always remember strolling on the sandy beach at sunset, holding his hand."

Sarah (aka Kyla in Dreamscape (WorldsAway), once the wife of avatar Magellan),

September 22, 2006

To Scott:

DUDE-!

You were SO right! It just occurred to me tonight to look up the Flipper lyrics we always debated. You know, "Life is Cheap." I always joked that the one part said, "...becomes the tenth grade..."
(to which you'd reply, "No it doesn't. It doesn't say that!")
hehehehe
LOL

HERE'S what it actually says:

"Boasting of freedom, when they're tied down with chains
It's time to give it up, here comes the death rain."

It all flooded back to me, just now, and it occurred to me to look it up. Because now, I can!!
You know, Opal is still one of my favorite bands, too, thanks to you, and no one ever knows about them. You really had a knack for cool music. Innate!

I think about you all the time.
Obviously.
I love you.
:)
((((((((((((()))))))))))))))

Lisa
Obie!
PS: Eric picked out an angel for your tree last week

December 12, 2007

We shall miss you, Mag. Godspeed

A WorldsAway Friend